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2010-01-18
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A crueler man than myself would remind readers that Hemingway shot himself, and then suggest that this restaurant has this name because it inspires diners to act similarly, but I wouldn't want to take such a cheap shot. However, while it's not that bad a place, it's got room to do quite a bit better.Many dining experiences in Hong Kong seem polarised by volume: either it's an aged couple eating in complete silence, or it appears to be a late round in a greatly rewarded shouting competition. We a
Many dining experiences in Hong Kong seem polarised by volume: either it's an aged couple eating in complete silence, or it appears to be a late round in a greatly rewarded shouting competition. We arrived at Hemingway's after a long and arduous walk up a hill (nothing like accidentally ascending 200 concrete steps to work up an appetite), and, in a bar that was scarcely full of people, got assigned a table slap bang next to four Koreans who were happily yelling at one another at the top of their voices. Since every other table seemed to be free, I would have assumed the staff might have put us a little further apart, but maybe they figured it was more efficient to have everyone in one place. And being English, one never, ever complains.
Staff were attentive to a fault (to begin with) - asking twice in the space of about two minutes from seating us if we wanted to order, but then vanishing after we'd asked for a little time to peruse the menu. Meanwhile, the room grew ever darker, until the only light seemed to be from the television playing Australian motorsport in the corner. I'm not sure that this really supplied ambience in any sense, or at least the combination of darkness, motorcycles and shouting doesn't really convey to me the wonders of the Caribbean. When asked, the waitress seemed a little surprised but then turned the lights up far enough that I could see across the table - but I'd have expected this need to be anticipated. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to trip in the darkened confines of the restaurant and fling a plate of food across the joint.
So to the beverages. There's a wide selection of mojitos and rum concoctions. As it's Caribbean, I was expecting them to push a strong ginger beer on us, but aside from one rum cocktail, it was conspicuous by its absence. The only non-alcoholic drinks seemed to be the smoothies. I had a Blueberry Nutter - slightly grainy, almost earthy taste which made me feel there was just a bit too much coconut in there, not enough dairy. My companion had a raspberry mojito, which she assures me was very good. I found it a bit too fizzy when I tried it, but I'm fastidious and also not a big drinker of cocktails (see being English above - a pint of pale ale and I'd be content).
Food: one order of crabcakes for her, one veggie burger for me.
On the positive side, the cayenne pepper mayo that came to dip the potato wedges in was flavourful, although not with much kick - like an innocuous mustard. The portion was ample, although I would have preferred a salad that was more interesting than a dose of coleslaw. The burger itself was huge, and required dismantling before I could bite into it, such was the height with the included onion, tomato and (interesting touch) slice of avocado.
However, size is not always enough. Although filling, it didn't really leave an impression of anything in particular - just a bit bland, really. This is a problem, as Caribbean food should be fiery, exciting stuff, whether it's hearty rice and peas, a fantastically filthy greasy roti, or one of those supernaturally yellow patties that I used to dine on back in Brixton. Instead, the burger was just ok - not something to aspire to eating. It filled a gap rather than making me want to sing and dance for joy at the experience. The potato wedges - ok, not salty enough. As per my other reviews of food that isn't probably the kind of thing you should eat every single day, it should reward you for occasional patronage, not leave you thinking "hmm, this probably isn't that great for me".
Crabcakes, likewise - could have done with being spicier, or more pepper. They were ok - they weren't the kind of thing that repulsed or disgusted, but they were just food. On the other hand, the accompanying salad (think a combination of fruit salad with beans and spices) was unexpectedly good - which makes one wonder why the rest of the food was so bland.
One shouldn't be too critical. We're not in Kingston now, Toto, and it's not as if Hong Kong is blessed with a plethora of Caribbean restaurants - this place deserves encouragement for not being one of the identikit Italian/Japanese/blah blah blah restaurants that fill much of the rest of this sceptred isle.
So maybe Hemingway's is catering well to its clientele; a bit like Discovery Bay, down to the shiny, plasticated menus it feels like a Disneyfied impression of the Caribbean, rather than the real thing. (Which raises another problem - can a man who's only ever eaten Caribbean food in West Indian restaurants in London and the outskirts of Vancouver give any kind of lecture on authenticity?) Are there popcorn dispensers in any other Caribbean restaurant? Am I being unfair on people that like popcorn? (I doubt it - if you want popcorn, go to the cinema, not to a restaurant.)
Therefore, I'll give it another chance - perhaps the ambience on the tables outside facing the bay is superior, perhaps the curry on the menu would provide a bit more fire, but thus far it felt a little mild for my tastes. Nothing was offensive, but sometimes if you're scared of being rude or putting people off, you won't really satisfy anyone. (And not to harp on about one's Englishness too much, but if you're not giving an Englishman opportunity to complain that there's not enough spiciness, you really are erring on the side of caution) So I'll probably try this one more time on my next visit to DB, but there are some gaps with both the food and the service that need fixing in order for them to raise their game.
张贴